Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Woes of Weeding in the Wind

I live in Montana. Wind is basically a given, especially in our part of the state. But that doesn't necessarily make it my favorite thing ever. I don't mind listening to it, but being out in it is not a whole lot of fun. Why, then, did I go out and try to get some more weeding done today? Because I'm a dumb-cluck, mostly. And partly because I'm going to be out of town for a week, and I just know it'll freeze while I'm gone, making the process that much more not fun, so I'm trying to get as much done as possible before I leave.

But today, I learned that wind and weeding do not go together well. Why, you ask?

Because invariably, you will get dirt blown into your face. Because some seriously extreme measures have to be taken to keep your hair out of your face (we're talking clip, hair tie, hat, and sweatshirt hood). Because even with said measures taken, you'll end up with hair flying in every direction, and a huge rats nest at the end of the day.

You may also find, after emptying your five-gallon bucket onto the compost pile, that empty (or nearly empty) buckets don't sit still. Some might even pirouette across the yard in a dizzying fashion, spreading whatever you had happened to place inside all the way across the lawn. If, then, you decide to build up a pile of weeds in the dirt beside you until you have enough to weight down said bucket, be prepared to watch half of them make a break for it at the next gust. Tumbleweeds in training, I tell you.

Also, it is something of a pain to try to reposition the towel you were kneeling on (in a vain attempt to stay kind of clean) when the wind decides to change direction three times every time you try to lay the offending piece of fabric back down. If, instead, you try to do the "retarded duck waddle" by remaining on the towel and scootching it forward one corner at a time until you can finally reach the weeds again, not only will you very likely look like a retarded duck, but your knees will not thank you for it. Especially when one of them finds a gopher tunnel that was dug a little too close to the surface.

The final reason weeding in the wind is not a good idea: it's just downright cold. Especially when you are wearing flip flops. And when your sweatshirt keeps riding up in the back, in spite of the fact that it belongs to your much taller husband, making a rather chilly gap where it should be meeting your pants. This is not an easy malfunction to fix whilst wearing gloves.

So, in lieu of weeding, let's all sit inside with a cup of hot cocoa and some nice, warm laundry to fold! Cheers!


  1. A much better idea, I agree. The wind doesn't blow much on Hawaii. ;-)

  2. Nice and calm here! Come for a visit :-)

  3. Ha. Ha. If you are bored you should come visit. I have about 50 projects that don't involve wind. :)