Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Puppy Diaries

Guys. I finished weeding the garden. That's pretty seriously awesome in my book, because now I don't have to look out the window and see twenty square feet of weeds in an otherwise bare plot. Even cooler is that I got it done the day before it snowed...for the second time. Whatever. I'm still excited. Harley "helped" with it, too...she likes to "help", and I enjoy her help as much as one might enjoy a face transplant. But I'll let her tell you about her weekend.

Dear Diary,

This weekend, like, totally rocked. I got to meet some new people (Mom called them "Gramma" and "Grampa" and "Aunt Jewell"), but for some reason, I didn't get to hang out with them as long as I wanted to. Mom put me outside after the fourth time "Grampa" said something that sounded like "No, get down." I'm pretty good at pretending I don't know what those sounds mean, even though I actually do.

Friday night some guy showed up and he and Dad talked for, like, hours about something called "hunting", and a bunch of random numbers like "2-2-3" and stuff. I swear, sometimes these people act like they don't know anything--I mean, even I know that 2+2+3 is six. Why couldn't they just say that instead? Whatever. Anyway, that guy was pretty cool...he played with me a bunch, and even let me chew on his socks! I love socks. I've got two of them. Sometimes I try to borrow more when Mom has her big white baskets of them on the floor but then she gets all mad. Can you say selfish? Like, who needs that many in the first place? Sharing is caring!

Mom has been doing weird stuff the last couple days she got these weird wood boxes (she called them crates when she told Dad she had bought them) and has been keeping them in the middle of the floor. Every now and again, she opens a can of stuff that smells totally weird and puts it on the crates with a fancy stick (I really want to chew on it, but she won't let me. How rude). I'm not allowed to touch any of it--I hate the "no" word--but this one time I got pretty close! I almost got my head into the can to get a better whiff, but then I got yelled at. On a completely unrelated note, I've been catching glimpses of something white out of the corner of my eye lately...whenever my ears flap around. I sure hope I'm not going blind! I'm too young!

Mom's also been going outside with me a lot this weekend! To be honest, she probably should even more than she does, because I've been noticing her stomach is a whole lot bigger than dad's, even after all the walks I've taken her on. I'm not really complaining, makes a super awesome pillow! But lately, going outside means Mom sits in the middle of the big patch of dirt and pulls up the leafy things growing in the middle of it. I try to help, but she seems to be determined to do it herself. I still manage to take care of some of the little rascals, though. I steal them out of the pile she makes and chew them up so that they can't get away. She doesn't seem to appreciate my efforts as much as she should, though. I also got into a competition of strength with one of the tall beings that are all over outside (a/n: played tug-of-war with a tree). Too bad I didn't win, but I'm waaay smaller than it was so obviously it wasn't my fault.

Oh! I've been helping Mom get a head start with her "garden" too! I've totally got half the holes dug for next year! Again, nobody thanked me...I guess I'm just doing it out of the goodness of my heart. I dunno why I do though--she let Dad lock me outside twice today! How mean!

Anyway, I've gotta go take my sixth nap...I'm behind on them today.

Oh hey! A tail!

Love, Harley.


  1. ah hahahaha! What a hoot! So what are your white crates going to be used for?

    1. I'm gonna hang them so their bottoms are against the nursery wall and use them as extra storage for blankets and diapers and such. I think they'll turn out pretty cute!

  2. I couldn't help but laugh! Thanks for this post, Harley!

    Betty Figarelle