Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What I'm gonna miss...

I began making a mental list the other day of all the things I was going to miss about being pregnant. I was trying to be upbeat and optimistic and all that. Of course, I couldn't think back over the last nine months without noticing some things that I, well...won't miss. At all. So I decided to write them all down in a nice little (maybe long) pro's and con's list, and you get to read them! Lucky ducks ;)

I won't miss not having a waistline. I will miss the bump. I like my bump. So does Harley. It's her favorite pillow.

I won't miss the gawks and pointed stares of the general public as I waddle around the grocery store. I will miss the awkward reactions of those who ask when I'm due as I respond "What do you mean?" (It's really funny. Try it sometime. Works best before you get "40-weeks-massive" though.)

I won't miss the amount of time and effort that goes into rolling over in the middle of the night. I will miss being helped up from the couch by my big buff husband when I complain that my bulk is too much to lift on my own.

I won't miss the three nightly bathroom trips. I will miss only having to get up three times a night.

I won't miss the waddle that has set in since this little guy dropped. I haven't quite decided if I more resemble a penguin or a duck yet. I will miss this completely arms-free way of carrying him around.

I won't miss having people blame my irrational moments on hormones. I will, however, miss using hormones as a convenient excuse for certain things. Sorry's a one-way street, I guess.

I won't miss my turkey-roaster belly button that, once upon a time, used to cooperate and stay in. I will miss Tanner poking it and calling it the Eject Button. I think it's kind of funny. Now, if only it would actually work...

I won't miss having my ribs pummeled by the Karate Kid. I will miss watching him kick Tanner's hand away every night before we go to sleep. Heck, I'll also miss feeling most of his wiggles.

I will most certainly miss my belly shelf. I never realized how convenient it could be to have a built-in ledge until I got pregnant. However, I won't miss having to brush off all the crumbs that accumulate there every time I use it.

I won't miss all this extra weight strapped to my front. I will miss having something to blame weight gain on.

I won't miss not being able to wear my normal jeans. I will miss elastic waistbands. In fact, I may continue to invest in elastic. That stuff is fab.

Anyway, I think that's most of it, although I might add that at the current moment, I miss taking legitimate painkillers (Tylenol usually just doesn't cut it), and being able to pick stuff up off the floor without squatting. And last, but very certainly not least (in fact, this is what I'll miss most about being pregnant), is being able to use the expectant mother's parking spaces in front of every grocery store and being offered help out with your one bag of groceries. Okay, today it was a forty pound bag of dog food, but whatever.

The countdown til my due date is at nine days! I wonder if he'll make his appearance by then?

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