Monday, December 2, 2013

Harley's Thanksgiving

Dear Diary,

I don't like cars. I don't even know what they're for, but every now and then Mom makes me get in one, and then I have to sit still for, like, ever. Then when I get out, everything looks different. It's kinda annoying, cause then I have to figure out where everything is all over again!

The last time this happened, a bunch of other people showed up too. One of them was named Rob and I love him. Everyone kept joking that Mom and Dad were going to leave me with him, only I didn't know they were joking and got my hopes up and now I'm bummed that they didn't.

Rob introduced me to a thing called "people food" and it's delicious. Since I've discovered that stuff, I've learned what "sit" and "lay down" mean. I still haven't figured out what plain old "down" means, although they say it a lot when I'm trying to get petted and jump on peoples' legs. Weird.

Back to the people food, I'm fairly certain Rob was holding out on me and not giving me the best stuff, because at one point everyone sat down around a big chunk of wood on those chair things, and let me tell you, the smells coming off the wood thing were amazing. I paced the floor under and around them but did I get any? Nooo.

I'm sorry to say that the new pet got just as much (or more) attention than I did. It's totally lame, because whenever I try to check it out to see what all the hullaballoo is about, I get in trouble! Seriously, I only licked its head once...or maybe a dozen times. Whatever. Not a big deal, right? Apparently Mom and Dad think so. I was born into a family of fuddy-duddies. At least I don't poop inside, diaper or not. At least, not most of the time. And I rarely throw up inside, except for this morning when I did under the bed. Mom didn't sound very happy about that.

That's basically it about that whole event. Right now it's snowing outside, which means it's really cold, and all my outside toys are frozen and hurt my teeth. Not to mention, my bedding is all soaked because someone dragged it all over the lawn a couple days ago and Mom still hasn't cleaned it up. Seriously, I could be freezing to death out there, all because she's lazy. Funny thing is, she keeps giving me dirty looks, as if it's all my fault that they got there in the first place. Honestly. Parents are so irrational sometimes.